The process of decoding or understanding the life, as we know, is still going on. For last few days I was trying Nirmal Kriya but it seems it is not easy ritual to do without a guru. Was going to a centre where I think I may get a link to my guru. And also met the said person PN in our club’s rotary meeting and though was not over impressed by PN lecture but certainly felt a hope that he may give me directions to my path. One good thing is that PN is arranging a workshop on Holistic approach. Let me see if it can bring the change I need in my life.
Last week when I was enjoying the adulation and company of the members of the new club we had formed, one thing struck me. I was wondering why I was enjoying their company so much and why I was devoting more then necessary time to train these members. And why I am concerned more about those new members then my club members.
And I am again reminded of the time where I would have never felt such indifference towards my members.
And as I mused over the reason for my indifference I realized that why so. During the last six months or so I saw a change in not only attitude of my members but also change in their thinking and their ideals also. I could see that more then teamwork, individual ambition had started creeping in minds of the junior Rotarians. Club and ‘the family of club’ were pushed backward in preference over so called position and power in club. It seems the mantra is ‘service for self’. There is no harmony or synergy in the members as whole. And importantly, in the fight between love and fear; the fear was winning. People, whom I had trained as my own, turned out to be bad students. And to top it all, the leadership of the club including many PPs were also being submissive and not taking brave stand on morally correct issues.
And this was not the club I had dreamed of. This was not the club which I had toiled for and given my so much blood and sweat for. It is sad in the way the club is turning into. I think the club may reach to greater heights but never nobler heights.
Here I think here I must salute PS, the ex-rotarian who has just quitted from rotary. I always thought that there may be only three-four members who would stand for their principles AND I may be the only one who was willing to even GO DOWN for my principles. Prem proved me wrong; by quitting, he proved that there is at least one more person who is willing to sacrifice and go down for his principle. I really salute Prem and dearly wish KJ RT RR RR AM CC BC SS etc, my other so called students, would have turned out like him. I really wish I was able to create such brave students,
And this is where I think I may have another chance to know that if I am better teacher. The fresh and virgin minds of new club members gives me chance to be teacher, a motivator again. I would like to teach them to be a good and brave members. And always stand for what they think is right.
And after two years I may know who was right. That is; were my earlier students not up to mark and had flopped or was my teaching not up to mark and I had flopped. Who was the weak link? I think time will give the answer. But now I am understanding a little, as to why I want to get out of my club.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
FACING TRAGEDY
Woke up in morning to hear the news that my collegiate Rajan Kelkar (my college friend) is no more. RK was ailing for sometime. Just two three months ago we learnt that RK was detected with cancer in food pipe, But never expected the end to be so soon. Felt that when a cancer is detected you normally have 3-4 years but this abrupt demise was really shocking.
My second college mate to go much earlier then expected. Anyway the first one committed suicide so sympathy was more for those he had left behind. But here it was sad.
Early forty is not a age to die. you are neither here nor there. nor too young to have anyone depend on you nor too old that your dependents have started becoming independent. Really mankind must appeal to GOD to change some of his rules and not tak eaway at such sensitive age.
Though by controlling my thoughts I controlled my emotions thereby not shedding any tears. But still when I saw RK's 12 year daughter standing in the balcony crying vehemently and with hands pointing in direction on road where RK's body was being placed in ambulance for the final journey, it made me weak and emotional. What will remain in my memory for long time is scene of his daughter crying till her father's mortal body was visible and after being placed in ambulance the way she cried "Aai Aai" and went running inside to her mother seeking comfort from mother for her sufferings. Really this was not a age to die.
But in city we see so many such tragedies that we somehow will get used to this one also
God give peace to RK and happiness to his Daughter. It was nice knowing you
My second college mate to go much earlier then expected. Anyway the first one committed suicide so sympathy was more for those he had left behind. But here it was sad.
Early forty is not a age to die. you are neither here nor there. nor too young to have anyone depend on you nor too old that your dependents have started becoming independent. Really mankind must appeal to GOD to change some of his rules and not tak eaway at such sensitive age.
Though by controlling my thoughts I controlled my emotions thereby not shedding any tears. But still when I saw RK's 12 year daughter standing in the balcony crying vehemently and with hands pointing in direction on road where RK's body was being placed in ambulance for the final journey, it made me weak and emotional. What will remain in my memory for long time is scene of his daughter crying till her father's mortal body was visible and after being placed in ambulance the way she cried "Aai Aai" and went running inside to her mother seeking comfort from mother for her sufferings. Really this was not a age to die.
But in city we see so many such tragedies that we somehow will get used to this one also
God give peace to RK and happiness to his Daughter. It was nice knowing you
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Nothing happening
I am a great fan of Hugh Prather and love all his books, especially his ‘notes to myself-my struggle to become person’. (I also love the book because it was given by a very dear and sweet friend, during my turbulent phase, just after college) Hugh’s reflections and the struggle to come to terms with his life simply represent the struggle of many such persons.
In my quest to find a purpose of my life, I think it is a struggle for me to be a person. During last couple of days, I lost some intensity in my pursuit; was struggling to retain the same intensity and hence was reminded of the above mentioned book.
I observed that I have lost some intensity and focus in pursuing my goal. Trying to understand why? But when I went to PN meditation centre today, I learned that there are many who even after so many years are nowhere near their objective. It made me realize that the path is not straight and upward but more of zig-zag and with no certainty of time required nor of results. In short no predictability.
But learnt one thing that there is no short cut to enlightenment and will have to make lots and lots of effort. So preparing myself for the long journey ahead. No mood to report more
Till next time bye
In my quest to find a purpose of my life, I think it is a struggle for me to be a person. During last couple of days, I lost some intensity in my pursuit; was struggling to retain the same intensity and hence was reminded of the above mentioned book.
I observed that I have lost some intensity and focus in pursuing my goal. Trying to understand why? But when I went to PN meditation centre today, I learned that there are many who even after so many years are nowhere near their objective. It made me realize that the path is not straight and upward but more of zig-zag and with no certainty of time required nor of results. In short no predictability.
But learnt one thing that there is no short cut to enlightenment and will have to make lots and lots of effort. So preparing myself for the long journey ahead. No mood to report more
Till next time bye
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
a good motivation poem
A good poem to lift you whenever you are blue. It seems to cover every sob story or any demoralising event of current times. and above all does not potray to give one line solution but ends with a practical note
Here it goes........
When there is no friend,
When life is on the dead end,
When world is not a paradise,
When your confidence dies,T
ell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When things don't go right,
When there is no ray of light,
And its too hard to survive,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When there is competition to face,
When you are lagging behind in the race,
When you've lost faith in God,
When you're betrayed by a fraud,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When others don't respect you,
When you're not amongst the admirable few,
When for a question, you can't find a solution,
When all you're sure about, is confusion,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When your destination is miles apart,
When you don't know where to start,
When all you see around is pain,
When your hardwork is in vain,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
Even though all this happens
just have faith in self & face the lifewith smile,
things will surely change one day
because as said "THIS IS LIFE ... »
The End
Till next time .......
Here it goes........
When there is no friend,
When life is on the dead end,
When world is not a paradise,
When your confidence dies,T
ell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When things don't go right,
When there is no ray of light,
And its too hard to survive,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When there is competition to face,
When you are lagging behind in the race,
When you've lost faith in God,
When you're betrayed by a fraud,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When others don't respect you,
When you're not amongst the admirable few,
When for a question, you can't find a solution,
When all you're sure about, is confusion,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When your destination is miles apart,
When you don't know where to start,
When all you see around is pain,
When your hardwork is in vain,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
Even though all this happens
just have faith in self & face the lifewith smile,
things will surely change one day
because as said "THIS IS LIFE ... »
The End
Till next time .......
Monday, July 6, 2009
NRC (Mohone) Nostalgia
NRC Mohone Nostalgia
Today had a bout of NRC Nostalgia. Got it triggered by browsing profiles of some NRC mates on Facebook. And stumbled upon something delightfully surprising.
I found that one of my NRC schoolmates is doing social work. And that too of a magnitude which I did not expect from anyone I have come across in my life. I always had an impression that out of the so many NRCites I grew up with, I may be the rare one who had such an strong itch for community work. Maybe the only one who was obsessed with ‘making a difference’. But when I read the profile details of one of my schoolmate Jahnvi Andharia, I was wordless for some time. And after further browsing, I was both happy and proud of the work she was doing.
It seems Jahnvi is co-founder of Anandi, a NGO in Gujarat and which does a yeoman service in field of woman equality, woman empowerment, microfinance, rural livelihoods and so on. She along with her other members seem to have not only worked in those areas but have unarguably made a difference in at least some of the areas they are serving. From what I gather she is still single, perhaps indicating her devotion and sincerity towards her selfless work.
I always thought that my work in social field and my book on Microcredit-which was graciously released by Nobel Laureate Mohd, Yunus- was a highest any NRCite can go in field of social work. But Jahnvi has gone several notches up. Her name along with other cofounders was mentioned in TIME magazine. The TIME not only described her work but also praised the bravery and dedication shown under tremendous pressure-after the Gujarat riots, and that is a highest form of honor any NRCite can receive. Come to think of it, how many of the NRCite may have found mention in TIME magazine. It certainly would have been a lifetime achievement for me atleast, to find my mention in TIME magazine.
This information made me happy that I know atleast someone, who has made other peoples lives- the main objective of their own life. It also makes me feel proud that someone had guts to go ahead and try to ‘make a difference’. It certainly made my day.
Suddenly have an immense desire to interact with Jahnvi and understand her overall thoughts, views and of course exchange work notes. Let’s see when it happens
So till next time…….
Today had a bout of NRC Nostalgia. Got it triggered by browsing profiles of some NRC mates on Facebook. And stumbled upon something delightfully surprising.
I found that one of my NRC schoolmates is doing social work. And that too of a magnitude which I did not expect from anyone I have come across in my life. I always had an impression that out of the so many NRCites I grew up with, I may be the rare one who had such an strong itch for community work. Maybe the only one who was obsessed with ‘making a difference’. But when I read the profile details of one of my schoolmate Jahnvi Andharia, I was wordless for some time. And after further browsing, I was both happy and proud of the work she was doing.
It seems Jahnvi is co-founder of Anandi, a NGO in Gujarat and which does a yeoman service in field of woman equality, woman empowerment, microfinance, rural livelihoods and so on. She along with her other members seem to have not only worked in those areas but have unarguably made a difference in at least some of the areas they are serving. From what I gather she is still single, perhaps indicating her devotion and sincerity towards her selfless work.
I always thought that my work in social field and my book on Microcredit-which was graciously released by Nobel Laureate Mohd, Yunus- was a highest any NRCite can go in field of social work. But Jahnvi has gone several notches up. Her name along with other cofounders was mentioned in TIME magazine. The TIME not only described her work but also praised the bravery and dedication shown under tremendous pressure-after the Gujarat riots, and that is a highest form of honor any NRCite can receive. Come to think of it, how many of the NRCite may have found mention in TIME magazine. It certainly would have been a lifetime achievement for me atleast, to find my mention in TIME magazine.
This information made me happy that I know atleast someone, who has made other peoples lives- the main objective of their own life. It also makes me feel proud that someone had guts to go ahead and try to ‘make a difference’. It certainly made my day.
Suddenly have an immense desire to interact with Jahnvi and understand her overall thoughts, views and of course exchange work notes. Let’s see when it happens
So till next time…….
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Start of a new phase
In everyone’s life there comes a phase, when you pause and start asking questions about life or to be precise your life. Many times you have lots of questions to ask but very few answers available. And in rare times like now, you do not even know the questions for which you are seeking the answers. Your mind feels the turbulence inside but is unable to crystallize the words needed to form those questions.
It is strange that I am facing that problem. But for anyone to understand my predicament, a little background is necessary; and also to connect with my further musings. Hence the first blogmusing may be little long.
A Practicing Chartered Accountant by profession, a hardcore Rotarian day & night and with lots of interest in sports, philosophy, self development, history and motivational biographies. Always been ‘Jack of all and Masters of some’. In short had all that is needed and sought by any ambitious college student. But still I am at a threshold where none of my present activities holds any interest to me.
And that is where I wonder-why does it happen that in midst of an average successful life; you suddenly get restless and try to seek something more in life. For past decade, I served my Rotary club like no one has (let me not be modest about fact). Today, I know that no one may dare to openly acknowledge; but my efforts have resulted in creating and building a club which no one dreamt of.
Perhaps the urging to serve the local community, to interact with other Rotary members, and the aspiration to ‘make a difference’ would have been the motivation. But what caused it to cease, I still do not know.
Somewhere along the ‘conversations with myself’, I learnt with shock that Rotary is not something I need in my life from here onwards. Rotary is not something which holds my interest. And that, will be the attempt of this blogmusings, i.e. to try and understand, what makes me run away from Rotary or the my other likings; and run after something I do not know what it is nor have identified it. My object is still vague, unsure, unclear to me but I do know that it is there, just after the horizon, waiting for me to reach it.
Let us see if I can reach that purpose, while understanding on the way- ‘why I am de-toxin Rotary from my system?’
Till then have a nice time
It is strange that I am facing that problem. But for anyone to understand my predicament, a little background is necessary; and also to connect with my further musings. Hence the first blogmusing may be little long.
A Practicing Chartered Accountant by profession, a hardcore Rotarian day & night and with lots of interest in sports, philosophy, self development, history and motivational biographies. Always been ‘Jack of all and Masters of some’. In short had all that is needed and sought by any ambitious college student. But still I am at a threshold where none of my present activities holds any interest to me.
And that is where I wonder-why does it happen that in midst of an average successful life; you suddenly get restless and try to seek something more in life. For past decade, I served my Rotary club like no one has (let me not be modest about fact). Today, I know that no one may dare to openly acknowledge; but my efforts have resulted in creating and building a club which no one dreamt of.
Perhaps the urging to serve the local community, to interact with other Rotary members, and the aspiration to ‘make a difference’ would have been the motivation. But what caused it to cease, I still do not know.
Somewhere along the ‘conversations with myself’, I learnt with shock that Rotary is not something I need in my life from here onwards. Rotary is not something which holds my interest. And that, will be the attempt of this blogmusings, i.e. to try and understand, what makes me run away from Rotary or the my other likings; and run after something I do not know what it is nor have identified it. My object is still vague, unsure, unclear to me but I do know that it is there, just after the horizon, waiting for me to reach it.
Let us see if I can reach that purpose, while understanding on the way- ‘why I am de-toxin Rotary from my system?’
Till then have a nice time
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