Nice to be Trainer again

The process of decoding or understanding the life, as we know, is still going on. For last few days I was trying Nirmal Kriya but it seems it is not easy ritual to do without a guru. Was going to a centre where I think I may get a link to my guru. And also met the said person PN in our club’s rotary meeting and though was not over impressed by PN lecture but certainly felt a hope that he may give me directions to my path. One good thing is that PN is arranging a workshop on Holistic approach. Let me see if it can bring the change I need in my life.

Last week when I was enjoying the adulation and company of the members of the new club we had formed, one thing struck me. I was wondering why I was enjoying their company so much and why I was devoting more then necessary time to train these members. And why I am concerned more about those new members then my club members.
And I am again reminded of the time where I would have never felt such indifference towards my members.

And as I mused over the reason for my indifference I realized that why so. During the last six months or so I saw a change in not only attitude of my members but also change in their thinking and their ideals also. I could see that more then teamwork, individual ambition had started creeping in minds of the junior Rotarians. Club and ‘the family of club’ were pushed backward in preference over so called position and power in club. It seems the mantra is ‘service for self’. There is no harmony or synergy in the members as whole. And importantly, in the fight between love and fear; the fear was winning. People, whom I had trained as my own, turned out to be bad students. And to top it all, the leadership of the club including many PPs were also being submissive and not taking brave stand on morally correct issues.

And this was not the club I had dreamed of. This was not the club which I had toiled for and given my so much blood and sweat for. It is sad in the way the club is turning into. I think the club may reach to greater heights but never nobler heights.


Here I think here I must salute PS, the ex-rotarian who has just quitted from rotary. I always thought that there may be only three-four members who would stand for their principles AND I may be the only one who was willing to even GO DOWN for my principles. Prem proved me wrong; by quitting, he proved that there is at least one more person who is willing to sacrifice and go down for his principle. I really salute Prem and dearly wish KJ RT RR RR AM CC BC SS etc, my other so called students, would have turned out like him. I really wish I was able to create such brave students,

And this is where I think I may have another chance to know that if I am better teacher. The fresh and virgin minds of new club members gives me chance to be teacher, a motivator again. I would like to teach them to be a good and brave members. And always stand for what they think is right.
And after two years I may know who was right. That is; were my earlier students not up to mark and had flopped or was my teaching not up to mark and I had flopped. Who was the weak link? I think time will give the answer. But now I am understanding a little, as to why I want to get out of my club.