Life is not fair. is't it so?

Reunion preparations are in full swing. All are in midst of planning, contacting classmates, creating database but mainly trying to catch up & update on each other. But I am looking forward to the reunion with mixed feelings. Both excitement and apprehension. Thrilled but with fear. (More about what I feel about Reunion in next blog)

Each day was reconnecting me to a new classmate. Within last week, right from Vasudha, sisters Aasha and Usha, MV Usha, ManiBabu, Pranoti to now Rosebell, Mercy and Gracy-who just called- it was a non-stop trip down the memory lane. My emotions were just gushing up from deep within, at reacquainting of so many classmates; and recollecting of long forgotten sweet incidents.
In midst of all this I had a conversation which dampened my enthusiasm and left me disturbed for rest of that night.

RB called. She was excited (in fact overexcited would also be understatement), she wanted to know about my last thirty years of my life in five minutes! And was asking non-stop questions without bothering to pause and see if I was answering any one of them. She still was as usual so sweet on phone. She made me feel elated by saying that for past one year she was fervently remembering me and used to frequently tell her children about Satish Uncle’s school antics. She desperately longed to meet me for past year. She also persistently asked me the one question most are asking me ‘Are your children as mischievous as you were?’ and I only say No. Such a sweet innocent person, ever ready to help and who wished no one bad, a person whose life should be surrounded by all-round prosperity. And this RB confessed that 'she did not have money to pay for our reunion!!!!!
Yes, during our conversation, RB indicated me in different ways that she was looking forward for the reunion but had some work hence could not come. After my heavy persuasion and lot of dillydallying by her, she opened up and cryingly admitted that she wanted to desperately come to reunion but she was in financial crisis and did not have the money to spare for the reunion.

i was too distressed to hear this and I became angry at God. In fact I was always angry and bitter with God for having given me so many tragedies in my life. And on many occasions, when I was suffering the traumas one after another, I almost wanted to scream to God and say ‘enough please no more please’. And plead to Him- Why Me?

But today I was seriously as disturbed at the life RB is living, as I was for mine. In no way I can understand the justice of fate where a simple girl with one of the kindest heart one could possess, was hesitant to come to reunion because she could not afford the contribution of Rs 500/- I mean a girl who showered me with pure selfless love & affection and by seeing whom, the word Florence Nightingale comes to my mind; a sweetest person who gave me so many precious sugary memories that helped me endure my turmoil. And a person who gave me so many gifts and spend money on me when she was working. Such a person in financial crisis was hard to understand.

For me, RB and Pranoti were two such school friends who gave me the most selfless affection without I giving them anything in return. Though few other girls have been more closer to me. But these two were exception in that I never gave them my affection or time-as I did to others-but still it did not diminish theirs for mine. Particularly RB. I remember her regularly bringing vada-pav from her job just because I liked it and she used to stand on school ground to give it to me after I finished playing my hockey. Who will show such platonic love to a boy who is not her brother or her boyfriend?
Why such girl should suffer a fate is beyond my comprehension. I mean where does the philosophy that ‘u reap as u sow’ stands in this context. She enjoyed a better standard of life then many of her classmates and now she is living a life which we would have never wanted any one of us to experience. Really God, please do something and bring the smile back in her life.
I may pay her reunion contribution. That is the smallest I can do. It will be just a small repayment of debt she has over me. A debt, huge enough, that cannot be repaid by any amount of money or deeds from my side. No one has taught me how to calculate the cost of selfless good memories given by your classmates.

Still the last thought before signing off is GOD Why Her? i wud ahve glady borne one more tragedy in my life. But God Why Her?

A year after 26/11-Has anything changed?

continuing.......

Some further questions also bother me and answers for which are not easy;

How can we call the policemen killed as martyrs and their death as sacrifice?

These policemen went in without fully aware of dangers that lay ahead. Their death was more of accidental-they were caught by surprise by terrorists who were in midst of shooting spree. It was unlike the commandos or NSGs who bravely went in fully aware that their chances of being killed were more then that of survival. They knew that death was in front of them but still they went in. That is SACRIFICE and those are our martyrs. As far as our policemen are considered, at the most we can say that they died in line of duty. Certainly I am moved and feel for the loss of these top police officers and concur to whatever honor, the government and people have give to them. Absolutely no grudges at all. But in my opinion, to equate their death with that of NSG commando like Sandeep Unnikrishnan will not be fair to these brave martyrs who walked to their death fully aware.

What purpose these morchas, candle light walks, seminars etc serve? How it is going to help in capacity building of our nation?

When I saw the NGOs or concerned people speaking on TV (while holding some banner or message in hand) they all said to the effect that; their way of showing concern or empathizing with the affected would certainly make a difference!! And I again wonder ‘but how’? Throughout the history of mankind, the doers go about doing their work without the need to be vocal and the spokespersons have always spoke but do little action. The litmus test will be how many of this spokesperson would like to confront a group of terrorist or visit a place which is filled with danger. I know there will be few takers on that. But arrange a TV broadcast talk show on national channel and you will find millions hand volunteering.


To be continued

A year after 26/11. Has anything changed?

Today evening at a public forum, I was asked to say few words on the occasion of first anniversary of the Mumbai terror attacks. The ‘mother of all attacks’, which had kept Mumbai awake for three whole days.
And I flatly refused to speak. I did not want be a hypocrite and speak on where our government lacked and what they should do or not do etc
In fact the last whole week I was sick of watching the rat race of different channels trying to show “how differently this tragedy can be revisited and presented”. These TV channels went to the actual affected sites, interviewed each and every person related to that event and did not even spare the family members (of dead ones) to grieve in peace. Or gave them some solitude to mourn their personal loss. The whole idea of such TV networks was to make family members cry and create or gain artificial sympathy. It was as if the networks were not caring how low they were going, to catch the eyeballs. In fact, the race for TRP was getting so ridiculous that I wondered what next? Are the journalists now going to try the last trick of the book i.e by going to heaven and taking interviews of the persons who died on that day? Perhaps in future they would find a way to do that also!!

Add to that, the most appalling part was the peace walks, morchas, demonstrations, candlelight marches, seminars, exhibitions, talk shows, debates, so on and so on. It looked like every NGO, social organization, political party was trying to take advantage of that day by trying to portray ‘how concerned we are’ for India and how we empathies with the dead ones. Everyone had a punch line that ‘how their supreme sacrifices should not go waste’.
In the afternoon also, when I had gone to VT, Nariman Point and other parts of town, it seems that the marches, slogans, demonstrations, street exhibitions etc were here, there, everywhere. Everyone wanted to be part of this façade and all of them wanted to appear on TV or media. In fact more then the actual issue, the bottom line was about getting noticed. That is, appearing on media and TV to get personal mileage for themselves or their organization.
But why am I angry at all these publicity seeking pathetic attempts? Why do I think that all this is hypocrisy at its best? And the answer is not hard to seek. Last year after the terror attacks, everyone and every NGO including citizen association of elite areas (Cuffe Parade N. Point, Malabar hill) took to streets. They occupied prominent place in newspapers and TV networks for more then a month. They screamed, protested, created uproar, gave opinions about what is wrong with India, the government its citizens etc. And also whose fault it was and what should be done. Many suggested of changes in policy, government and anything they could think of blaming. The uproar was so huge that it seemed like finally the elite class was being concerned with what is happening with non-elite common public. There also emerged a feeling that average citizens will now be more aware and proactive in matter of governance and their rights.

But all that proved to be a illusion. Hopes rose only to be dashed. All these so called social reformers talked about participative governance. But when the need for voting came, it was back to the old habits. The voting in those elite areas was mere forty percent in both LS and VS elections. Now everyone knows that base of successful democracy is in participation of voting process by all and thereby ensuring election of an effective government. But what we observed was all talk and no action by these so called elite citizens and their elite social organizations. That made me so bugged and angry at them. Only talk and no action. These were people who occupy important positions in corporate and were symbol of wealth and power. They had an genuine opportunity to make the difference but they really squandered their chance away by not coming down to vote. What right they have to question the government or give suggestions? Hence I refused to talk and be a part of ‘all words and no action’
to be continued......

The Bhau I knew-a tribute to an visionary soul

Death is the ultimate truth of life. The final destination. At some point of time in our lives, we get used to hearing the news of some one or other's demise. You just accept the news and move ahead. But still in rare cases, you feel deeply affected and touched, on hearing upon the demise of an extraordinary visionary person. Bhau's demise was one such case.

Manohar Pundalik Kulkarni-popularly known as Bhau- was a person on whom, pages and pages could be written and still, one would nowhere be near in understanding what made Bhau such an extremely endearing and likable person. It said that in case of successful persons “either you love them or hate them but you can’t ignore them”. But in case of Bhau it was always “either you loved him or liked him but you cannot ignore him”. Such was the friendly and pleasing personality of Bhau. We all would agree that at first glance, no one would predict this simple unassuming person, to be an extraordinary achiever of sorts.

And thus it makes me wonder like so many others “How can a man achieve so much in his lifetime and still be so modest and humble”. I think more then the need for answer, there is a greater need for us, to follow the ideal in the question.

As a Rotarian, Bhau was a hardcore dedicated member who served the Rotary and its objectives, as he would for his own family and vocation. For our Rotary club, he was a selfless worker, a generous donor, a motivating leader and in the last few years a guide and counselor to many new Rotarians and Presidents. Some of his significant achievements during his Rotary stint were; Founder member and continuous member for 28 years of Rotary Club of Thane East, Club President for two years, Chairman of CORPS, only member from our club who was elected to District Nominating Committee and a PAUL HARRIS FELLOW. Bhau was one of the most respected senior Rotarian from Thane clubs and had been given Vocational Excellence awards by many Rotary clubs.
But what made Bhau stand apart, is his trend of wearing Rotary pin 24*7 and that too with great pride. His tireless service and compassion for the needy is unmatched. In fact for all of us, the dictionary meaning of word Rotarian was Bhau Kulkarni

We Rotarians may miss Bhau's fatherly presence, his assuring experience, his comforting strength, and many other aspects. But we find solace in that he lived a life in a style, which has become role model or roadmap for juniors like us. We are proud to be members of RC Thane East mainly because Bhau was member of that club.

Bhau wherever you are, may you rest in eternal peace and I thank Almighty for blessing my life with presence of Bhau, however brief it may be.

How Green was my Valley/club!

KJ offered to resign more then a month ago. Though it was a shock to everyone but still will confess that it was relief for me. As posted earlier, in case of RCTE, it was case of ‘frankly dear i don't give a damn’. Therefore the fact that I simply did not care that our club was headless and was having no future did not amaze me. And why so indifference? The reason is simple. I knew this was coming. I was as certain of club going down, as I was earlier, of my club going to top.

The reasons, as I stated before, were simple to seek. The club and especially new members were embracing and idolizing wrong ideals and principals. This was ensuring a short term artificial success or temporary ‘feel good’ factor. Any intellectual person knows that Long term vision is not built on personal ambitions of one or two persons. Not on ‘I am the only one great’ attitude and certainly not on ‘I only win and u all lose’ situations. In spite of my repeated warning and cautioning against targeting for short-term gains, still everyone was engulfed by the obscene greed of fast success and fame.

One fact is indisputable. A great club is built on teamwork of experienced PPs, effective BOD and energetic new members. It is built on love and harmony. It involves rotary training and grooming of juniors by knowledgeable seniors and also giving support and confidence to President by key persons of club. This is where our club was lacking. And the club also suffered because persons like me who knew what was happening and what needs to be done were not bothered by the turn of events.
Though DP has accepted to be PE but I know it will be difficult for the club to find its bearings again. The club will never be able to recapture its innocence, its enthusiasm, the bonding, the harmony, the joy of discovering each other and the happiness of just being in each others company. Unless a new breed of 15-20 exciting members are inducted together, the lost era of our club may never be regained.
When I try to look back at my initial years in RCTE, I realize with dismay how it has changed in such a short time and also realized what I will be missing. Initially the members knew each other personally, incl their families. There was innermost fierce desire to meet informally for fellowship at someone’s place. I remember the various times I enjoyed at PP RJ house, the simple ice-cream fellowship in my small office where SA DS AA VS late RP, late Khanna etc used to come frquently and where we used to just chat/gupshap. Now looking back, I realize rotary was more simple but enjoyable in those days. There was sense of both solace and satisfaction in doing something for club members and the club. Personal ambition was nowhere on the horizon. And it is for these loving affectionate members that I tried to build a tajmahal of our club. It was my tribute to the lovely times I have shared with these members. But I now know that I was defeated in my purpose by ambitions of few persons. But I have to now reluctantly accept that as my failure and move on.
Some how the magic of those days will never return

……. That is until another magician appears on the avenue

Turmoil and more turmoil

Yes writing after long time and so much happening after 1st week of august. Somehow the things I learnt during the past few months were;

You need lot of determination and zeal to write a daily or a frequent blog, (I really admire Amitabh for writing the daily blog in such a hectic schedule)

Also, the more I want to stay away from Rotary the more it is chasing me (or to be frank involving me)

The search for ‘purpose of life’ is getting more distracted then ever before and I am still not out of blocks for my search.

Past two months has tested my relationships in rotary, as if to see if I can come out with flying color in relationship test.

And finally, how winning can fail to bring joy is something inexplicable?

Let me categorize the events unfolding in past weeks

RID3140 world

The utmost turmoil one can wish for happened in our rid3140 world. Two dialogues aptly convey the happenings. Mrs NI, wife of Dr BI, remarked ‘perhaps it is not in our destiny to be DG’. And local AG phoning me and asking ‘why things don’t happen at top level as you wish?’

Yes our AG with help of BD wrestled the DGN from DR BI. It was against all PDG nomination and defying the group opinion. In fact I had specifically told both AG and BD that ‘u r rocking the boat of our group. In case u want to rock it then have the power and confidence to stabilize it’.

Now the boat has been rocked but has the duo power to stabilize the boat and direct it towards our predetermined objectives? Only Incoming days will answer the question

The more I wonder on these happening, the more I am disappointed at the turn of events. AG may have been the first choice of some from our group but all of them would not have liked AG to win this way. I personally feel betrayed and would blame MB for such a situation. His double cross games made our senior PDGs lose their face and in turn our group becoming laughing stock of rid3140.

But who is to be blamed for this fiasco? Our PDGs, whom I was repeatedly telling to have a transparent dialogue with eligible candidates? Or BD trying to ensure that our groups power centre shifts to him. Or AG who erroneously feels that he has been aggrieved party and also for feeling that the position was his for taking? Or I should be blame myself for laying low instead of taking proactive stand and ensuring settlement within group?

Perhaps there may be a challenge and the coming days will be like Bigg Boss serial where friends turn against each other, as days go by. Indeed we are heading into turbulent times. And hence my opening remark; ‘And finally, how winning can also bring no joy is something inexplicable?’

How it will end? ‘Que sera sera, the future is not for us to see’

one of my most satisfying day....... cont

Monday 11th August morning brought wonderful news for my rotary dist group. KB was elected as RIP for 2011-12. From the phone calls made by senior PDGs, I gathered and cud make out that this was wonderful news for our group and all were happy that they were able to interact with KB just almost a ten days ago during RCTGC installation. In fact everyone was thankful and appreciated that because of my invitation they got such opportunity. I also talked to KB and he remembered me from installation (as induction master) and was happy that I had called. In fact he also inquired about my Microcredit book which I was supposed to send him.

Also the hangover and stuttering of 1st august still remains. Still getting congratulatory calls and emails. Also continuing of my previous post about points which made me extremely happy;
Ms D.Doshi a senior member of a very old club congratulating me for being district trainer and inquiring if I can come to train their club. That was really a highpoint!
Or that PDG JTV spoke for one hour next day and inviting me to dinner
Or that people flocking me after the function just to talk with me, give compliments and inquire if I can help them in public speaking
In fact today also their directors are totally relying on me for their projects and calling me to help them!!

In short still the success hangover has not gone away. So I am still happy.
And lastly I realize that since president Girdhar and I are clicking of; I have a chance to create a family-environment club which I had always dreamed of.